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Diamond, fair's comic hypnotist, stresses that hypnotism is not mind control
LubbockOnline.com When Ron Diamond places a group under hypnosis and suggests that they relax, some audience members become very relaxed. Diamond performs a magic show and a comic hypnosis show nightly at the Panhandle South Plains Fair in Lubbock. (Photo ... |
If you can recognize this pattern, you can handle your favorite narcissist more effectively.
One trait of men and women with narcissistic habits makes them frustratingly difficult to deal with — either as a partner at work or someone to live with at home.
As a therapist who specializes in helping couples build more satisfying marriages, I focus on this trait in particular.
What is that habit that most people overlook about narcissists?
Get Familiar With These 20 Styles Of Narcissism
When you interact with a person with narcissistic habits, you need to stay strong. Don’t be aggressive; just strong in self-confidence. Expect to be heard. Keep nicely but confidently putting your comments back out there until you succeed.
Then you never know what might emerge. The most overlooked sign of narcissism may — or may not — melt away!
There are many signs of narcissism, but the most telling but overlooked sign is habitual non-listening.
Narcissistic folks tend to do a lot of talking and very little listening. The narcissist knows best, so why bother listening to what others have to say?
Have you ever spoken with someone who responded to whatever you said by dismissing it? Narcissists brush aside, negate, or deprecate what others say instead of truly listening.
There are 2 tip-offs that give this way:
You are especially likely to trigger a narcissistic person’s message-deafness if your comment differs from the narcissist’s viewpoint. Narcissistic folks hear the words but block out the meaning, the message of the words they are hearing.
Why do therapists tend to miss the poor listening habits when they are assessing narcissism?
People with narcissistic tendencies do tend to listen to someone they see as higher in power than themselves. If those with narcissistic habits respect their therapist, their listening can appear to their therapist to be quite normal.
If the therapist, by contrast, were to see that same client interacting with his or her spouse or employees, the listening patterns would most likely be glaringly different — dismissive, ignoring altogether, minimizing the importance of the point that the spouse or employee just made, disagreeing with it, and pointing out what was wrong with it.
Most psychologists work with individual clients rather than with couples, so they consequently miss out on seeing the narcissistic listening habits.
Furthermore, another reason why therapists seldom note the narcissistic pattern of dismissive listening is because the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) lists the factors that therapists use for diagnosing emotional problems and problematic personality patterns.
Alas, this manual makes no mention of listening deficiencies as a diagnostic factor for narcissism, so therapists tend not to look for them.
Again, psychology in general, and even more so the psychiatrists who write the DSM manual, have historically focused primarily on individuals rather than on what those individuals do when they interact with others.
What are some ways that help you deal more effectively with narcissistic dismissive listening?
If someone you know talks with minimal listening, first and foremost do not take it personally. Dismissing what you say as wrong or irrelevant says more about that person than it does about you or what you have said.
Just as you would not take personally the limited hearing ability of someone with partial deafness, realize that your narcissistic friend, co-worker, or loved one has a genuine disability.
Just as you would repeat, perhaps more loudly, what you were trying to say to a deaf person, find ways to repeat, tactfully, the message that you were trying to communicate.
One formula for tactfully repeating a comment that has been brushed aside is first to agree cooperatively with what the narcissist has said. Then, reiterate your prior point. That is, agree, and then add your perspective.
You: The walls in this room are an unusual color of green.
The narcissist: No, they’re not. They’re yellow.
You: Yes, I agree that they are yellowish and at the same time, there’s a lot of green in the yellow, rather like a lime color.
Why are we drawn to narcissistic people?
Narcissists initially can appear to be very attractive. Many narcissistic individuals are good-looking, earn a good living, and are fun to be around.
Women are attracted to male narcissists because they seem powerful, special, and self-confident. Men are attracted to female narcissists who are strikingly beautiful or sexually appealing.
It’s only when narcissists begin to ignore their partner’s concerns and dismiss what their partner says that narcissistic listening disorder becomes a source of relationship tensions.
Watch Dr. W. Keith Campbell discuss the psychology behind narcissism.
Why do we miss the signs of narcissistic listening deficiency earlier in the relationship?
Narcissists do listen to people who seem to more powerful or who have something that they want.
So, when they are courting, they listen very well. It’s only when the relationship feels secure that narcissists relax back into their baseline dismissive listening style.
What can you do if someone you work with or love has a narcissistic non-listening pattern?
If you have chosen someone with narcissistic habits as a life partner or you have to deal at work in an ongoing way with someone who has difficulty listening to you, begin by viewing narcissism as a handicap. In spite of their charisma, narcissists have a genuine listening deficit.
Ratchet up your self-confidence because you’ll need to speak in a way that conveys an inner sense of personal power.
And from that self-confident stance, use collaborative dialogue skills. Show that you have heard your partner’s viewpoint and then persist until you have succeeded in conveying your viewpoint as well.
Praise and affection will also get you everywhere. Narcissistic folks relax and, therefore, listen better when they feel appreciated.
And keep reminding yourself that most narcissists can and do listen, even with empathy, when they experience the person with whom they are talking as having greater power.
What’s the moral of the story?
When you interact with a person with narcissistic habits, you need to stay strong. Don’t be aggressive; just strong in self-confidence. Expect to be heard. Keep nicely but confidently putting your comments back out there until you succeed.
Then you never know what might emerge. The most overlooked sign of narcissism may — or may not — melt away!
This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: The Most Overlooked Symptom Of Narcissism.
How to tell if someone has bipolar disorder (manic depression).
Bipolar disorder — which used to be known as manic depression — affects upwards of 1 in 100 adults at some point in their lives.
Its most obvious symptom is very severe mood swings; it is a condition of extreme emotional states.
Someone experiencing the disorder will have periods of great energy and exhilaration at times.
These could last weeks or often several months.
At other times they will experience very deep depressions (there’s more on how mania and depression cycle below).
Sometimes these states are mixed together.
The highs and lows are much greater than most people will experience in their lives.
It’s way more than just feeling full of energy one morning then a little fed up in the afternoon.
During severe episodes it can make the person totally unable to deal with everyday life.
The illness often starts in late teens or the twenties but rarely after 40-years-of-age.
It affects both men and women equally.
During the ‘manic’ phase people experiencing bipolar may have one or more of these 15 feelings and behaviours:
Depressive phases may include one or more of the following 12 thoughts and behaviours.
Bipolar disorder is generally categorised into different types depending on how people cycle between manic and depressive phases.
Some people experience mostly strong manic phases and short periods of depression.
Others have mostly heavy depressive phases and short periods of mania.
Still others cycle more quickly between the two.
At the extreme, bipolar people can experience delusions and hallucinations.
In a manic phase this might include believing you are the most important person in the world.
In the depressive phase it could mean believing you are the worst person in the world.
As with many mental health problems, the cause of bipolar disorder is not well known.
However, it is likely a mix of genetic and environmental factors, like stress or childhood abuse.
It is usually treated with psychotherapy and various medications.
Psychotherapy may include strategies for monitoring mood, general coping strategies and underlining the importance of daily routines.
For medication, mood stabilisers like lithium are often tried, as are antidepressants and anticonvulsants.
The combination will depend on the person.
People who receive treatment for bipolar disorder will usually be able to deal with the symptoms in the long-term — that’s not to say it’s easy.
One study found that 98% of people’s symptoms were much improved after two years (Tohen et al., 2003).
However, the same study found that 40% of people had a relapse within a further two years.
Here is a video in which people with bipolar disorder talk about their experience.
VIDEO
→ Try one of PsyBlog’s ebooks, all written by Dr Jeremy Dean:
Mental illness image from Shutterstock
In the '70s, the US Government thought almost everything was Soviet mind control
MuckRock As background, the report cites findings at a symposium in the U.S. that had concluded that strobe lights and other flicker effects can create disruptions in “the form of sleep, unconsciousness, hypnotic states, or other forms of interference with ... |
How might differences in the brains of men and women affect their behavior and cognition? We investigate.There are many studies that aim to explore the question of underlying differences between the brains of men and women. But the results seem to vary wildly, or the interpretations given to the main findings are in disagreement.
In existing studies, researchers have looked at any physiological differences between the brains of men and women. They then studied patterns of activation in the brains of participants of both sexes to see if men and women relate to the same external stimuli and cognitive or motor tasks in the same way.
Finally, the question that emerges is: do any of these differences affect the way in which men and women perform the same tasks? And do such differences affect men versus women's susceptibility to different brain disorders?
Often, there are no clear-cut answers, and scientists tend to disagree on some of the most basic aspects - such as whether there are any notable physiological differences between the brains of men and women.
In this article, we look at some of the more recent studies dealing with these questions and give you and overview of where current research stands.
Increasingly, online articles and popular science books appeal to new scientific studies to deliver quick and easy explanations of "why men are from Mars and women come from Venus," to paraphrase a well-known bestseller about heterosexual relationship management.
One such example is a book from the Gurian Institute, which emphasizes that baby girls and boys should be treated differently because of their underlying neurological differences. Non-differentiated child-rearing, the authors suggest, may ultimately be unhealthy.
Dr. Nirao Shah, who is a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University in California, also suggests that there are some basic "behaviors [that] are essential for survival and propagation," related to reproduction and self-preservation, that are different in men and women.
These, he adds, are "innate rather than learned [...] [in animals] so the circuitry involved ought to be developmentally hardwired into the brain. These circuits should differ depending on which sex you're looking at."
A study on rhesus monkeys showed that males preferred "wheeled toys," whereas females leaned toward "plush toys."Some examples brought to bear on these "innate differences" often come from studies on different primates, such as rhesus monkeys. One experiment offered male and female monkeys traditionally "girly" ("plush") or "boyish" ("wheeled") toys and observed which kinds of toys each would prefer.
This team of researchers found that male rhesus monkeys appeared to naturally favor "wheeled" toys, whereas the females played predominantly with "plush" toys.
This, they argued, was a sign that "boys and girls [may] prefer different physical activities with different types of behaviors and different levels of energy expenditure."
Similar findings have been reported by researchers from the United Kingdom about boys and girls between 9 and 32 months old - a period when, some researchers suggest, the children are too young to form gender stereotypes.
Apparent differences in preferences have been explained through a differential hardwiring in the female versus male brain. Yet, criticisms of this perspective also abound.
Refuting studies in monkeys, some specialists argue that, no matter how similar to human beings from a biological point of view, monkeys and other animals are still not human, and guiding our understanding of men and women by the instincts of male and female animals is erroneous.
As for studies on infants and young children, researchers often identify pitfalls. Boys and girls, some argue, can already develop gender stereotypes by age 2, and their taste for "girly" or "boyish" toys may be influenced by how their parents socialize them, even if the parents themselves are not always aware of perpetuating stereotypes.
The perspective that "gendered" preferences can be explained through hormonal activity and differences in the brains of men and women remains, therefore, controversial.
Still, there are a number of studies that pinpoint different patterns of activation in the brains of men versus women given the same task, or exposed to the same stimuli.
One such study evaluated sex-specific brain activity in the context of visuospatial navigation. The researchers used functional MRI (fMRI) to monitor how men's and women's brains responded to a maze task.
In their given activity, participants of both sexes had to find their way out of a complex virtual labyrinth.
Different areas in the brains of men and women "light up" during visuospatial navigation tasks.It was noted that in men, the left hippocampus - which has been associated with context-dependent memory - lit up preferentially.
In women, however, the areas activated during this task were the right posterior parietal cortex, which is associated with spatial perception, motor control, and attention, and the right prefrontal cortex, which has been linked to episodic memory.
Another study discovered "rather robust differences" between resting brain activity in men and in women. When the brain is in a resting state, it means that it is not responding to any direct tasks - but that doesn't mean it isn't active.
Scanning a brain "at rest" is meant to reveal any activity that is "intrinsic" to that brain, and which happens spontaneously.
When looking at the differences between male and female brains "at rest," the scientists saw a "complex pattern, suggesting that several differences between males and females in behavior might have their sources in the activity of the resting brain."
What those differences in behaviour might amount to, however, is a matter of debate.
An experiment targeting men's and women's response to perceived threat, for instance, highlighted a better evaluation of threat on the part of women.
The study, which used fMRI to scan the brain activity of teenagers and adults of both sexes, found that adult women had a strong neural response to unambiguous visual threat signals, whereas adult men - and adolescents of both sexes - exhibited a much weaker response.
Last year, Medical News Today also reported on a study that pointed to different patterns of cooperation in men and women, with possible underlying neural explanations.
Groups of male-male, female-female, and female-male couples were observed as they performed the same simple task involving cooperation and synchronization.
Overall, same-sex pairs did better than opposite sex pairs. But interbrain coherence - that is, the relative synchronization of neural activity in the brains of a pair performing a cooperative task - was observed in different locations in the brains of male-male versus female-female subjects.
Another study using fMRI also emphasized significant differences between how the brains of men and women organize their activity. There are different activation patterns in the brain networks of males and females, the researchers explain, which correlate with substantial differences in the behavior of men and of women.
A more recent study, however, disagrees that there are any fundamental functional differences. The authors of this work analyzed the MRI scans of more than 1,400 human brains, sourced from four different datasets.
Some studies suggest that, despite some physiological differences, brains cannot be divided into "male" and "female."Their findings suggest that, whatever physiological differences may exist between the brain of men and of women, they do not indicate underlying, sex-specific patterns of behaviour and socialization.
The volumes of white and gray matter in brains of people pertaining to both sexes do not differ significantly, the study found.
Also, the scientists pointed out that "most humans possess a mosaic of personality traits, attitudes, interests, and behaviors," consistent with individual physiological traits, and inconsistent with a dualistic view of "maleness" and "femaleness."
"The lack of internal consistency in human brain and gender characteristics undermines the dimorphic [dualistic] view of human brain and behavior [...] Specifically, we should shift from thinking of brains as falling into two classes, one typical of males and the other typical of females, to appreciating the variability of the human brain mosaic."
That being said, many scientists continue to point toward evidence that the distinct physiological patterns of male and female brains lead to a differentiated susceptibility to neurocognitive diseases, as well as other health-related problems.
One recent study covered by MNT, for instance, suggests that microglia - which are specialized cells that belong to the brain's immune system - are more active in women, meaning that women are more exposed to chronic pain than men.
Yet another analysis of brain scans for both sexes suggested that women show higher brain activity in more regions of the brain than men.
According to the researchers, this heightened activation - especially of the prefrontal cortex and of the limbic regions, tied with impulse control and mood regulation - means that women are more susceptible to mood disorders such as depression and anxiety.
A meta-analysis of studies related to sex-based differences in the brain confirms that men and women are susceptible to largely different brain disorders.
"Examples of male-biased conditions include autism, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, conduct disorder, specific language impairment, Tourette syndrome, and dyslexia, and examples of female-biased conditions include depression, anxiety disorder, and anorexia nervosa."
The authors suggest that it is important to take into account physiological differences in order to enhance preventive approaches and treatments.
Men and women are susceptible to different brain disorders.An earlier study had also noted differentiated patterns of susceptibility to brain disorders between sexes, yet it also acknowledged some significant limitations.
First, the authors said, many previous studies did not manage to recruit similar numbers of participants of each sex, which may have led to gender bias. Additionally, they explained, "because women may seek treatment more than men, it may be easier for a researcher to recruit females."
"Both of these factors may lead to a patient sample predisposed to an uneven gender distribution," the authors admit, but their conclusion remains firm.
"[G]ender matching is essential in clinical functional imaging studies, and supports the idea of exploring male and female populations as distinct groups," the scientists urge, citing the wealth of studies that point to the same interpretation.
So, are brain differences fundamental to how men and women function? The answer is maybe. While so many studies noted different activation patterns in the brain, these did not necessarily amount to differences in the performance of given tasks.
At the same time, from a healthcare perspective, it may be important to take sex-based differences into account, so as to devise the best possible treatment plans for different individuals.
Controversy sourrounds the existence of the G-spot and the routes to orgasm.In our increasingly digital world, sex and female body image are often misrepresented. Yet, sex makes people happy and plays an important role in social bonding as well as mental and physical health.
So, it's time to demystify common misconceptions about the female sex organs and their role in sexual pleasure.
We shine a spotlight on how the vagina, vulva, and clitoris work, as well as on what is currently known about the elusive G-spot and the female orgasm.
The vagina is the muscular tube that links to the cervix, which is the lower part of the uterus.
Also called the birth canal, the vagina allows for the passage of blood and cells in menstruation, the introduction of sperm during sex, and the delivery of the baby and placenta at the end of pregnancy.
The vagina only has a limited number of nerve endings, which is thought to be important to help women cope with the pain of childbirth.
The external part of the female genitals is the vulva. It consists of the labia majora, or the outer fold, the labia minora, or the inner fold, the urethra, and the clitoris. The shape and size of the vulva is unique to every single woman.
In a study involving 32 women, Dr. Haim Krissi - from the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Soroka University Medical Centre in the Ben-Gurion University of the Negev in Israel - and team found a considerable range in the length and width of the different parts of the vulva.
While many people think that the clitoris is a small spot just above the vaginal opening, it is, in fact, a much larger complex. The part most visible is the glans, which is 16 millimeters in length, on average. This is the part that most people will be familiar with.
The glans is covered by the prepuce, which is a skin formed from the vaginal labia. Some people liken the prepuce to foreskin. Hidden inside the pubic bone is the rest of the clitoris, and the entire complex is similar in shape to the penis, with a total length of between 9 and 11 centimeters.
The clitoris is an erectile organ and is thought to be at the heart of female sexual arousal.
In a 2015 review published in the journal Clinical Anatomy, Dr. Rachel N. Pauls - from the Divisions of Female Pelvic Floor Medicine and Reconstructive Surgery at TriHealth/Good Samaritan Hospital in Cincinnati, OH - describes the clitoris as "[...] the centre for orgasmic response."
The clitoris is highly innervated, with the densest concentration of nerve fibres found in the glans. These nerve fibres respond to stimulation by causing swelling of the erectile tissues of the clitoris.
As Dr. Pauls explains, "It is important to note that indirect stimulation of the glans is central to female sexual arousal, but the dense innervation of the glans may lead to extreme sensitivity upon direct stimulation."
That being said, the clitoris is not the only part of the female sex organs that can lead to arousal, according to some. The mysterious G-spot, said to be located inside the vagina, has been equally credited.
The so-called Gräfenberg spot, or G-spot - which is named after the German-born physician Ernst Gräfenberg - is a topic of much contention.
While Gräfenberg has been widely credited with finding the purported spot guaranteed to produce sexual arousal, the name was in fact coined by Dr. Frank Addiego and colleagues in a 1981 paper published in the Journal of Sex Research.
The hunt for this elusive structure that promised unlimited pleasure has been on since then.
A study in An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology by Dr. Adam Ostrenski - from the Institute of Gynecology in St Petersburg, FL - and colleagues describes it as a collection of nerve bundles in the front, or anterior, wall of the vagina.
Using MRI scans, Anastasios Mpotsaris - from University Hospital of Cologne in Germany - and colleagues found a "distinct morphological entity" in 62 percent of study subjects in the same location.
Does this mean that the search is over? No; not all experts agree. Dr. Vincenzo Puppo - from the Centro Italiano Sessuologica in Bologna, Italy - states in an article in the journal Clinical Anatomy that there is no scientific or medical evidence that supports the existence of the G-spot.
Instead, he writes, "The G-spot has become in the centre of a multimillion dollar business: G-spot amplification, also called G-spot augmentation, G-Spotplasty, or the G-shot, is a cosmetic surgery procedure for temporarily increasing the size and sensitivity of what some believe to be the G-spot [...]."
This sentiment is echoed by Dr. Pauls, who summarizes that there is no scientific or anatomical evidence that supports the existence of the G-spot.
So, the jury on the G-spot is still out. Whether by G-spot stimulation or not, the female orgasm remains a mysterious and controversial topic.
The debate about the purpose and routes that lead to women experiencing an orgasm is probably as old as medical science.
Although the male orgasm has a clear role from an evolutionary standpoint, in that it is central to the propagation of the human species, experts have not been able to agree on a similar "purpose" for the female orgasm.
From a physiological point of view, the path to sexual arousal is straightforward.
Dr. Pauls explains, "In simplistic terms, genital arousal is characterized by increased blood flow to the pelvic region. In females, this vascular flow results in clitoral engorgement and erection and accompanying vulvar swelling and vaginal [secretion] of fluid."
"If a threshold is reached, orgasm can follow arousal. Activation of [nerve pathways] triggers pelvic floor skeletal muscle contractions that accompany sexual satisfaction," she adds.
So, should we view orgasms as simply being the result of reflex produced by our nerves? As so often in biology, things are more complicated. Our nerves, of course, transmit sensory signals to our brain, where studies have shown that sexual pleasure is processed similarly to other types of pleasure.
"[...] the mind may be the ultimate sexual organ, which in combination with anatomy can augment sexual enjoyment."
Dr. Pauls
The ultimate center that causes the greatest female pleasure remains a topic of debate. Two competing theories exist: the vaginal and the clitoral orgasm.
According to Dr. Puppo, the term "vaginal orgasm" is misleading. He says that "the vagina has no anatomical structure that can cause an orgasm." Instead, "the 'vaginal' orgasm that some women report is always caused by the surrounding erectile organs," he explains.
Dr. Puppo further highlights, "Orgasms with a finger in the vagina are possible in all women, but the partner must also move the hand in a circle to stimulate all the female erectile organs."
On the other side of the argument is psychologist Prof. Stuart Brody, who argues that penile-vaginal intercourse is the route to vaginal orgasm, which he says plays a greater role in sexual satisfaction.
In a review published in the journal Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology, Prof. James G. Pfaus - from the Department of Psychology at Concordia University in Montreal, Canada - writes "it is likely that women have an enormous capability to experience orgasms of many different types [...] the subjective experience of it is not necessarily the same for each woman, and can even be different each time a woman has one."
Dr. Pauls also highlights that "[...] pressure on the vagina during sexual activity can result in traction, vibration, and clitoral stimulation."
"It is therefore problematical at best to define a 'clitoral orgasm' as a phenomenon distinct from a 'vaginal orgasm'," she adds.
Because the individual parts of the female sex organs are located very close to each other, it is difficult to identify one particular spot as the ultimate route to pleasure.
One question that remains is whether or not it is necessary to have a definition of different types of orgasms.
Every woman's sexual pleasure and orgasm is unique. A recent study showed that only 6 percent of women say that they reach orgasm every time they have sex.
Those involved in researching female sexual pleasure may argue that better knowledge of the routes to orgasm can help those struggling to achieve the satisfaction they desire. But orgasm is only one part of the experience of sex.
"Perhaps it is time," says Prof. Pfaus, "to stop treating women's orgasm as a sociopolitical entity with different sides telling women what they can and cannot experience."
Sexual satisfaction is a unique concept. Whether derived from clitoral stimulation or another route, at the end of the day, the best measure of satisfaction is the pleasure experienced by those involved.
